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Post by Ferris_23 on Jun 15, 2010 16:04:57 GMT -5
"YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER! AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!"
Out pops a rather rude and crude cursing Frenchmen who then catapults a cow at you. Hm, I don't suppose a Trojan Rabbit would work.
*sticks in an emo lion that deserves to go die in a hole*
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Post by Fmalover12 on Jun 15, 2010 16:09:20 GMT -5
Access denied. Prepare to die.
Pfft, what a rip off. Nothing comes out! Maybe you should... holy... what is that?
A large, brown, fat cat comes out and stares at you intently. It's hypnotic powers cause you to shove it back into the machine.
*places a slightly used pair of dentures into the machine*
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Post by ToastO.o on Jun 15, 2010 16:11:55 GMT -5
heeesnaaaaaaaaawwwww
a portly mexicano man with a mocha late comes out and smacks you with a star bucks coffee sign
*inserts a terrified armorless Atin into machine
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Post by Ferris_23 on Jun 15, 2010 16:12:37 GMT -5
Insert Air Raid Siren Here.
The machine begins to rumble, holy- it's even smoking! When all of a sudden.... Pyramid Head pops out and tries to butcher you!
*quickly shoves him back in*
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Post by Fmalover12 on Jun 15, 2010 16:16:31 GMT -5
leedle leedle leeeeeee!!!!!
A metal box with the word "Cranberry" pops out. You lift the lid of the box and see a gigantic cranberry. How odd. Suddenly, it grows a giant arm and grabs the top of your head and pushes downward. You're chin hits the rim of the box and you loose 50 exp points as well as a few teeth.
*Puts in a bottle of staplesause*
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Post by Ferris_23 on Jun 15, 2010 16:19:58 GMT -5
"What's Her Face ate staple sauce, a heaping bowl of staple sauce~..."
Out pops a kicking mustang. You get decked in the jaw and lose consciousness. When you awaken you have been scalped by Indians.
*puts in a pack of gum, Old, Rusty Boat flavored*
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Post by Fmalover12 on Jun 15, 2010 16:27:09 GMT -5
"Grab 'em, cuz you gotta have 'em!!"
A sticky note comes out with a picture of a question mark on it. Huh. You are about to put it back into the machine, but suddenly an old man shoots out and talks about "them old times".
*puts in a machine gun*
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Post by Dragon-of-Eternal on Jun 15, 2010 16:30:36 GMT -5
"La di di dadi dadi, we like to party-party~"
Out flutters a maaaagical fairy who proceeds to steal all your items and inventory.
In return, she gives you a pretty princess dress.
*attempts to shove in my father, then gives up because he won't fit and instead inserts my shitty-ass laptop*
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Post by Ferris_23 on Jun 15, 2010 16:33:48 GMT -5
Ho Ho Ho....
Out pops a single cup of green tea. Man, you feel gypped. Then a tidal wave of the stuff drowns you.
*sticks in .hack//G.U. Mia, after she gets pwned*
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Post by Dragon-of-Eternal on Jun 15, 2010 16:37:21 GMT -5
Miiii-ya-yaaaaa Wa see see waaa, see see waaaaaah
Ding! Out pops a teracotta easy bake Ovan, batteries included! Unfortunately, it also comes with a Shino.
*puts in a contact lens*
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Post by Ferris_23 on Jun 15, 2010 16:40:06 GMT -5
sounds of Shino getting beaten to death.
Out pops a cuddly widdle Atoli. She preaches to you the joys of Moon Tree. Your ears bleed and you die of boredom.
*sticks in a Bubble Wand*
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Post by Fmalover12 on Jun 15, 2010 16:41:18 GMT -5
Boom shakalaka! Boom shakalaka!
A random guy with a paintball gun pelts you mercilessly until you crawl into the farthest corner in the room curled in the fetal position.
*After a few months of paintball therapy, you return to the vending machine and insert your therapist*
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Post by Dragon-of-Eternal on Jun 15, 2010 16:46:00 GMT -5
Click Click BOOM!
You get a cheap wig in a bag. It isn't even made of Kekalon...
*inserts a hairbrush*
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Post by miyuku258 on Jun 15, 2010 17:04:59 GMT -5
Chuga Chuga Chuga Chuga WOO WOO!!!
Before anything can come out, Jak leaps into the picture, reaching his arm into the vending machine as far as it will go. He manages to pull out a very terrified, whimpering Talik and leaves with the angel over his shoulder. You raise an eyebrow at the scene and turn your attention back to the machine. You knock on it and nothing comes out. You crouch down and look up into the slot. Suddenly, a splat of oil gets all over your face.
Though disgruntled, you reach into your pocket and place a leftover bathroom token into the machine.
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Post by Fmalover12 on Jun 15, 2010 18:37:25 GMT -5
PPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLLLLBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLBBBBB... fllaaaaaa....
You wait a full ten seconds until a small chocolate bar comes out. You jump with joy and open the wrapper as quickly as possible. To your dismay, thousands upon thousands of tiny killer ants endlessly pour out and eat you alive. How many times have you died today?
*You pull yourself together and add a spoon full of tartar sauce into the vending machine*
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